Good and Faithful Servant

Today was a very difficult day.  (I blogged about what my family and I experienced in my previous entry).  I also gave the last pieces of information to the mortuary-Elaine's SSN, final resting place, etc.  My dad accompanied me to the cemetery so that we could finalize Elaine's plot.  Travis who helped us was amazing.  He was so very patient (just like the funeral director Kurt who helped us on Wednesday).  Everything felt right about it, we found a beautiful location next to a tree that should bloom with some beautiful purple, pink, or white blossoms.  I look forward to when I can visit her and share with her the beautiful stories of how she loved people and how many people adored her.  The disease never let her fully experience and grasp how much of an impact she really did have on people.

On last night's blog, I shared, "I need God more than ever now to be my ultimate comforter to get me through this painful journey and come out on the other side ok and ready to live the full life he has in store for me.  Give me an eternal perspective."

Earlier that day, I received a text from a good friend of mine and Elaine's who I was on worship team with.  She shared with me "Hold Me Now" by Hillsong.

"Hold Me Now" Hillsong United

I listened to it on loop last night as I was going to bed.  This was only the second night that I was able to get to sleep without someone else in the room being with me.  The lyrics truly comforted me and brought me back to one of my initial responses to Elaine's death--No Weakness, no hurt or pain, no suffering, you hold me now.  I will see her again in heaven someday and I will no longer be in any pain as well.  It gave me peace in that moment so that I was able to get some sleep.

For those of you who read my earlier post, have a glimpse into how painful it was for me to discover Elaine at my apartment.  The same friend who sent me a link to "Hold Me Now" had also been working all week on a painting as she had been praying for Elaine, myself, and my family.  I have to share it because it captures so much truth.  

The truth of Elaine's personality, her style embodied in her hair color, the sweetness in her smile, her kindness, and ultimately the truth that God is finally holding Elaine in his arms.  She is free from suffering, the pain, the hurt.  Just like the image from my first blog has helped me replace the graphic images I have, this image will help in the healing process in eventually forgetting those horrible images that had been etched in my mind.  I know God over time will heal those images from me, and I need to continue to hold on to his truths and the truths people speak into my life and the truths that have been revealed through stories of those who knew Elaine.

Elaine's cousin shared about her on his facebook:

She lost her battle with clinical depression. But because of her faith in Jesus, death had no sting nor victory over her life. She lives on, and while the rest of us on earth only see in part, she now is fully awakened and dazzled by the utter beauty of Jesus Christ.  Elaine, what does Christ's voice sound like? How radiant is His face? How did you feel when you heard God's commendation over you; "Well done good and faithful servant. Now enter my rest."

“Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” Matthew 25:21, 23

I look forward to celebrating your life tomorrow my sweet sweet Elaine.  You were faithful to the Gospel and loved with all of your heart until the very end.